Many years ago, before I became familiar with Tantra, I thought I was having a reasonably satisfying sex life. In my opinion that was also the case: I regularly had clitoral orgasms, sometimes I even had simultaneous orgasms with my partner… therefore everything was hunky-dory. So why should I look for something else? Not feeling much inside of the vagina seemed quite normal to me and it didn’t occur to me that it was possible to experience it any other way.
Then, in my fourties, I went to my first tantra workshop … and everything changed. I quickly realized that there is much more to experience than what I had known so far. I read about the different types of orgasms, as I’ve only ever known one, the clitoral orgasm. So, I began my journey to explore this unknown territory.
In the course of my “adventure”-trip, I came across the so-called Yoni-massage, which I became more and more curious about, especially because I had already heard from other women about the beneficial effects they had experienced. (Yoni is a term for the female genitalia, so the vulva, the vagina and the uterus. It is used in Tantra and comes from the primary liturgical Hindu language Sanskrit.)
What is the yoni healing massage about?
The Yoni healing massage is mainly about re-awakening tissue of the yoni, that has become numb or painful (thus can feel no pleasure) because of stored trauma and stress. The more this tissue is liberated, the more pleasurable sensations are possible to feel. The massage starts by attentively and carefully preparing the whole body through massage and then, sometimes not even in the first session, respectfully touching the yoni on the outside and on the inside. An essential factor of such a massage is that personal boundaries are respected. An experienced therapist will usually be very attentive to the body and perceive when such boundaries emerge. In cooperation with the client, these limits are explored, but never stepped over. On the contrary: the therapist is there to assist you in finding out the difference between the goals of the mind and what the body is actually ready for.
After acquiring some knowledge, with a bit of nervousness, I went to see an experienced tantric therapist. I had no idea at that time what a transformative effect this massage would have on me.
The therapist explained everything to me. She was very attentive and prepared my body very well. During the massage she communicated with me and I found everything to be quite pleasurable, until she found the first spot inside the yoni that was painful. That surprised me, because I had rarely ever felt that painful inside. She told me that it was best to breathe into the pain and that, as soon as the stored emotion would be “washed out” of the cells, the pain would get less at first and then disappear completely.
Going along with these instructions, I was able to indulge in the pain, endure it, breathe into it while she continued to touch the spot with her finger, and indeed, the pain eventually got less. She continued and during the massage more of those painful spots were worked on.
At the end of the massage, she covered me gently with a blanket and gave me some time to feel the experience my body had just gone through. After a while, I thought to myself, “O.k., that’s it now. I feel pretty relaxed, but nothing more.” To be honest I had no great expectations for any change in my body.
Well, the big surprise however, came some 2 or 3 weeks later: When I plunged into sensuality with my partner, all of a sudden I sensed pleasure inside my yoni. A sensation that had never been there before and I was completely amazed: There actually can be pleasure inside the yoni.
After that, it was very clear to me: Numbed tissue can be freed from tension and thus become more alive and sensitive (which, by the way, is the case with men as well). What a revelation!
It has been many years since this first experience and today I know: There is a lot more in my body than I would ever dream of. The journey with my yoni has been more intense and beautiful ever since. For me it is a beautiful and delicate flower that exudes a wonderful fragrance and can open up in all its beauty. When respected and cared for, she can indulge and bestow us with the most wonderful sensations.
I am so glad to have had the possibility to make all these experiences and therefore feeling much more alive in my body than ever before. The only drop of bitterness sometimes was, that I did not come across these methods in my twenties. But what the heck, what matters is the here and now!
Author: Nicole Struebin, Switzerland
tulip: ©nicole strübin
yoni rose: ©Munimara 165975149 / bigstockphoto.com